ARE YOU THERE YET?

                                                                                                                    EDITED BY NIKKI BOSOMPEM 

Why are women not achieving an orgasm? I feel your pain. I mean, why should he be laying next to you in a dead sleep and you’re lying there staring at the ceiling wishing this weak muthafucka would exit stage left. Is something wrong with you? Besides having bad judgment, you are fine (I mean that literally, you being fine, that is). You just got your players out of place. Why is your center bringing the ball down court eager to get a shot off? You need a player that can handle and distribute the ball as well as score.

Don’t you just hate that one that won’t go down? Or even worse the one that goes down, and needs to smother himself, because he’s breathing no life into the coochie at all. Well in defense of this, all I can say is be careful what you ask for. This is not the type of thing you want to give instruction on. You need a brother that’s a natural to pull this thing off. I mean, if you have a brother down there that don’t want to be there in the first place, things are going to go horribly wrong and why even waste your time with a brother who has never done it before? That is your time to shine, to feel ill at ease. You don’t want to waste that time giving instructions or feeling uncomfortable.

Women, be attentive to what I am going to say next; it may help you get good service in that area where so many brothers seem out of touch. This is to assist you in knowing the brother that can make it rain with his tongue. Listen to how he speaks. If he can hold you captive with his words when he’s not speaking in a sexual manner or if he places you in a sexual state when he speaks and he is just as attentive to you when you speak, that’s your target. The experience of good oral skills is present in the conversation. Peep game next time it jump off for you. This I say to those of you who believe that is the only way you can accomplish your goal. Truthfully I feel shame for you, because you’ve yet to experience the fullness of your being. It will happen. Moses led slaves out of Egypt with a rod; surely you will come by one.

Most of you claim you want it, some of you got it, some have had it. The rest of you are just curious about the brother with the big one. Does size matter? Hell if I know, I’m a nigga; on top of that I’m cocky (pun intended). Anyway, if you do find Neo (The One) in that time you are in most urgent need of intimacy, there’s no guarantee that alone is going to get you off. A trophy alone is really only put on display for the owner’s pleasure. Honestly, you want to stop seeing this brother because he got a hell of an act with no show…the brother with the showcase of talents, though. You really have to let yourself go, how many times do you get to try out for the pros?

I believe achievement is reached through chi when the act becomes, in a sense, like yoga, when a person is so parallel to your physical and emotional sense. So very parallel, that you are able to release yourself in reality and be touched ever so briefly by your super-conscious. In that instance you are paralyzed with bliss. What follows that moment of instant gratification, is the orgasm (not to be confused with squirting, greater things lay beyond that, venture beyond that), the ultimate sexual peak. Should it be classified as an oxymoron? Numb with pleasure?